Cleavage, Hickeys, and Thongs – Oh My!

This post is the true story of three happenings in my workplace. But before I begin, I must include a disclaimer. This post is Miz Management’s opinion of what is and isn’t appropriate in the workplace. My readers (do I even have any?) may completely disagree, but that’s the whole point of a blog, right? To state an opinion and foster some conversation and thought.

So let’s begin with a story that has become almost urban legend. Several years ago, we needed some boring locations marked along a stretch of road several miles long. We sent a young female engineer out with a can of spray paint and a site plan showing the boring locations. It was a sunny day and she took it upon herself to multi-task. That is, work on her tan while marking the boring locations. She proceeded to put on a bikini and a pair of rollerblades and skated along the roadway, stopping as needed to mark the location with the spray paint. We found out about Ms. Bikini Skater when the City Engineer called to inform us that the residents in town were calling Town Hall asking, Why is a woman in a bikini spray painting the street?

The next story is about another woman engineer who liked to wear tight pants. Under her tight pants she wore thong underwear. Why do I know this? Believe me, I don’t want to know what she (or anyone) has under their clothes. I know this because one day while meeting with clients, she was bent over a table while looking at a set of plans and her tight, low riding pants and her short blouse parted ways to reveal her latest acquisition at Victoria’s Secret.

Story Number 3 involves a young male engineer who, while not exposing excess skin or his Fruit of the Looms, did manage to frequently come to work with hickeys on his neck. Oh, come on…this isn’t high school. This is a work place.

Okay, people…listen up! I would think this is obvious, but apparently not. The workplace is a place to get work done. Not a place to sport décolletage, skivvies, or trophies of your sexual conquests. Maybe Miz Management is a prude (I’ve been accused of worse), but I don’t think cleavage in the workplace is appropriate. I work in an engineering office, not Hooters. My simple rule of thumb is this – if men don’t do it, then women shouldn’t do it. Men don’t wear a shirt unbuttoned three or four buttons down and show their pecs and chest hair (or lack thereof). Ergo, women shouldn’t show cleavage. (BTW, I also use this rule as my excuse for why I don’t wear skirts or nylons to work. Fortunately most of my male coworkers don’t wear ties, or else my rule would require me to learn to tie a Double Windsor. But I digress…)

I’m a (straight) woman and yet I find it a challenge to maintain eye contact when sitting across from Busty Betty with the low cut sweater. I can only imagine the challenge for a guy to not let their eyes drift 12 inches lower. If women want to be taken seriously, like it or not, we want people to focus on the quality of our work, not our boobs. I’m not saying we have to dress frumpy. You can be fashionable while being professional.

Same goes for the thong business. Here’s a tip, ladies…if you bend over and you feel a breeze up your back, you’re probably showing something you shouldn’t be. As for the guy with the hickeys…Yuck! Just cut it out!